I'm a fourty-something smart-ass who enjoys verbally lopping heads off unsuspecting nimrods who are unfortunate enough to ask any form of inane question. "Do these jeans make me look fat?" "Why no, they most certainly do not. It's the fat that makes you look fat. Now put down the chicken leg and go make me a pie."

Cynicism is my devastating mutant power and I use it freely and with little restraint. Beware my wrath - because you won't know it has hit you until you are splattered six ways to Sunday wondering what the f@#k just happened.

I enjoy writing fan fiction such as "Neo-X" (check it out beeyotch http://nextxcomics.com) as well as creating original characters and concepts. Like most creators I hope to either publish my own work or that of others I feel has merit.

I live in a very small town - Washington, Georgia - and it is much like living in Mayberry. Everyone knows everyone and there are some great characters and scandals at every turn. I love it here and have a small antiques shop that is growing exponentially each year.

I have two dogs - Gigi and Bruno. They are spoiled rotten. Bruno has rancid breath that will peel the paint off of the wall. His numerous and unpredictable farts are toxic. Hazmat teams have been known to show up on some occassions.

Other than that, I'm not sure what else to say. I'm sure inquiring minds will ask if they are overly interested.